Man in the White Lab Coat

So I work in a cancer research center/hospital, which means that I see a metric-butt-ton of people walking around wearing white lab coats. They look important and official with their names embroidered on the coats (for some reason usually in blue cursive letters put there by the magic lab coat fairies). It's also a prerequisite that your job title has to be something that no sane human can figure out what it is you do... for example, "otolaryngologist." These doctors treat head and neck cancers, but who knew? Otololy, otololy, jolly what a day.

Anyway, so why I am blogging about this? Well, I had to go out and get a white lab coat to wear when I go consent patients for research studies since it's part of my newly revised job. It was explained to me by one of my bosses that apparently people take us much more seriously when we come in wearing white lab coats. THAT'S IT??? There's no other explanation like, "Well Chad, you see, white lab coats help to save lives because they absorb the heebie-jeebies in the patients room..." or something like that. But no, that's really the reason. People think that I'm more important and better educated, so they are more comfortable with signing a consent form for research with me. I just have to say how crazy that is to me. IT'S JUST A COAT! Of course, I'm sure Joseph said that when his brothers beat the snot out of him and sold him into slavery, but hey, who's counting? I definitely thought the whole world was laughing when I walked into the store to purchase this coat. All I could see was racks of hundreds of scrubs in different colors and with stupid characters on them. I guess people get really bored from wearing the same thing every day and thus choose to wear pink scrubs with funny farm animals on them or something equally as goofy. Anyway, when I went to pay for the coat, the lady asked me if I needed it embroidered. YEAH right. What would mine say??

Chad B.,
"graphic designer who also consents patients for research studies and can order supplies for you, if needed."

That screams TAKE ME SERIOUSLY. So I do have to admit that while it is a little odd, it's also kinda fun to have this magic coat and get to do various cool tasks around the cancer center. Anywho, maybe I'll post a picture of me in the coat someday so you can see how ridiculous I look in it considering how far from being a doctor I am and how the thought of being one causes me to laugh uncontrollably like kids do when they try to hold back laughter at a birthday party, but inevitably end up shooting Sprite out of their nose when they can't hold it any longer.