"Burn!"

On our way in to work this morning, Karen and I took the back way and drove behind "Lexington Mall." This is usually a nice shortcut to drive through because the "mall" is vacant and has been for many years. As a child, I remember going to this mall full of all kinds of stores to do Christmas shopping or just to get some new clothes. Not anymore. The owners have been letting the original leases run out and not allowing stores to renew them... not that they would want to anyway. This supposed "mall" is as empty as my wallet and hasn't drawn in customers for decades. What? You mean you DON'T want to shop in stores decorated with 1970's tile and carpet with 8' ceilings?? Gasp! Anyway, so as we drive through the parking lot, we notice that an entire part of the building has been knocked down and is being removed. In fact, they are tearing the whole thing down and replacing it with a strip mall full of actual stores with merchandise (say it ain't so!). Karen and I couldn't help but chuckle at the site of this decrepit building in a prime real estate area being shredded to pieces. We felt like that old bitter couple in the movie "What About Bob." You know, the couple that was supposed to buy their dream house after saving for years and years but then had it snatched away from them by Dr. Leo Marvin. Throughout the movie they sit in their fishing boat on the lake and heckle the Marvin's with it coming to a head when the house starts to burn down at the end. In that scene, all they do is throw their hands in the air and yell "BURN! BURN! BURN! HAHAHA!"

Well Lexington Mall, "BURN! BURN! BURN!" Bring in new property with worth-while merchandise... like a Ben and Jerry's or something.

(Disclaimer: if something you should happen to Lexington Mall, like ACTUALLY catching on fire instead of figuratively, I swear I had nothing to do with it! This is just a joke and the writer has no intention of setting stuff on fire except wood in his fireplace... I just enjoy seeing the demolishing of this crappy building.)

Aren't disclaimers great? So take THAT to the stupid lady that won millions of dollars from McDonalds when she spilled hot coffee on herself and complained that the product didn't warn her it was hot! It's coffee... enough said.